


SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me)

by sassykarma



Category: Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Angst, College AU, Croc and Chato are besties, Detention, F/M, Fluff, Harley loves coffee, Sass, Tatsu is a sassmaster, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-12 23:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassykarma/pseuds/sassykarma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College AU with the Suicide Squad meeting in detention and forming a friend group . . . ish.</p><p> </p><p>***CURRENTLY ON HIATUS</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. why would you make this

 

_harlz created SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) at 11:14 PM today._

_harlz added kroc, chato-of-the-flames, RF, JuneMoone, T.Yamashiro, saucyaussie, and dead-center to SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) at 11:16 PM today._

 

harlz: hey guys!!

chato-of-the-flames: . . . harley?

harlz: yep!!! hey chato!!!!

chato-of-the-flames: . . . hi?

kroc: harley wut is this

harlz: its the SQUAD, duh

chato-of-the-flames: hey waylon

kroc: hi. still dont know why im here

harlz: obviously bc ur part of the SQUAD

dead-center: some of us have class tmmr & r studying harley

harlz: dont care!

RF: That sounds about right.

RF: How did you get everyone’s numbers?

RF: And why are we a squad?

harlz: uh duh i HACKED the school server

harlz: and bc we totally r a SQUAD!!!!

JuneMoone: Ok, Harley.

harlz: SEE JUNE TOTALLY GETS IT

harlz: BC SHES BETTER THAN ALL OF U

dead-center: wanna repeat that

kroc: its goin down

chaot-of-the-flames: im yellin timber

dead-center: that was way 2 in sync

harlz: uh nsync sux backstreet boys 5eva

RF: . . .

harlz: wheres tatsu and digger????? they need 2 get in on the SQUAD

kroc: y do u always do squad in all caps

kroc: like does ur phone just correct it 2 b that way or

dead-center: better question is why do i care when i have a test at 7am tmmr

RF: Where’d June go?

chato-of-the-flames: kroc june and me r in the library and she went to get coffee

kroc: were studying for the latin midterm

harlz: im coming to join u!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the SQUAD gets together, everyone should come to the library guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kroc: uh harley

kroc: the library

kroc: it has a volume limit

dead-center: based on how many exclamation pts u use u definitely should NOT b allowed in a library

dead-center: ever

harlz: dont care

harlz: @june get me an espresso!!!!!!!! and sugar packets!!!!!!!

JuneMoone: Ok Harley! Glad to see you there soon!

JuneMoone: I didn’t realize you were taking Latin too.

T. Yamashiro: she’s not, harley is in german 2

dead-center: hold up when did u get on?

T. Yamashiro: I’ve been here the whole time

RF: Then why didn’t you tell me? I feel betrayed.

T. Yamashiro: if you had looked up from your phone to see that I was on mine you would have noticed rick

kroc: DAMN GET WRECKED RICk

chato-of-the-flames: tatsu should b tatsu-of-the-flames bc shes dishing out burns left and right hold UP

RF: I’m just gonna go.

harlz: noooooo dont leave the SQUAD RIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK

 

_RF left the group SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) at 11:32 PM today._

_harlz added RF to the group SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) at 11:33 PM today._

 

RF: Oh god.

RF: Guess I’ll stick around for the ride.

harlz: yippee!!!!!

harlz: wheres digger??? we just need him and the SQUAD is complete!!!!!

dead-center: did u seriously just use the word yippee

dead-center: ok after that im out 

dead-center: i have studying to do my bio lab is tmmr and i need 2 know the innerworkings of a fetal pigs intestinal system not ur crazy ass problems

 

_dead-center left the group SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) at 11:42 PM today._

 

harlz: ill let him cool down and add him back tmmr am dont worry!!!!

harlz: actualy nope im adding him now!!!!

 

_harlz added dead-center to the group SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) at 11:43 PM today._

 

JuneMoone: I got you an espresso Harley, but they didn’t have sugar packets so I got you Sweet’n’Low instead.

harlz: awww THANKS JUNE

harlz: C JUNE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN ALL OF U

kroc: harley u dont need 2 scream that outside of the library

kroc: were in the back and can hear u 40 yds away

chato-of-the-flames: r we sure thats harley

chato-of-the-flames: wait nvm

saucyaussie: wft is this 

saucyaussie: y am i heree

saucyaussie: i have better things to do

T. Yamashiro: then I suggest you get to them

dead-center: hoLY SHIT

chato-of-the-flames: DAMN

kroc: THAT JUST HAPPENED

harlz: BOW DOWN TO TATSU DAMN

kroc: DAYUM   
RF: Nice one Tatsu

T. Yamashiro: I do try

dead-center: harley i know ur in the library stop shoving books thu the shelves and making them fall on me

kroc: i juST CHOKED

JuneMoone: Harley, you can come sit with us! We have coffee and Chato’s Mexican hot chocolate brownies

chato-of-the-flames: damn keep those under wraps chica

chato-of-the-flames: im logging off gotta learn how to conjugate

kroc: same

dead-center: i need 2 sleep my bio lab is worth half my grade and i cant screw it up

harlz: tell us how it goes!!!!!!!!

dead-center: sure whatever

JuneMoone: I should turn my phone off too, I have to conserve power! I’m sorry Harley!!

RF: If no one is going to be on then I guess I’ll go too

RF: Bye guys

T. Yamashiro: Rick

RF: And ladies! 

RF: I don’t want Tatsu to stab me again

saucyaussie: im sorry WUT

saucyaussie: WUT DID SHE DO

harlz: bye SQUAD TTYL

saucyaussie: seriously WUT HAPPENED

saucyaussie: SOMEONE ANSWER ME

saucyaussie: I NEED TO KNNOW


	2. gossip + burgers?

 

harlz: howd it go????????

dead-center: fine

harlz: give me DEETS

harlz: i want DEETS

harlz: DEETS DEETS DEETS

chato-of-the-flames: u sound a little like a broken record harl

harlz: DONT CARE DEETS DEETS DEETS

dead-center: ughhhhh fine

dead-center: i sliced open a fetal pig & traced the path of digestion & identified other shit

dead-center: happy?

harlz: yes :D

kroc: damn im glad im not in bio now

RF: Yeah, how’d you get out of being in bio?

RF: I’m Floyd’s lab partner.

kroc: i took bio last year

harlz: so i heard a rumor?????? abt u tatsu?????

T. Yamashiro: Which one

harlz: is it true that u stabbed rick???????????  
saucyaussie: yeah is it? give ya mate answers

kroc: please say its true

T. Yamashiro: Yeah

T. Yamashiro: He deserved it.

harlz: idek what rick did but this already the best thing EVER

dead-center: i need to know

dead-center: hes my lab partner i need to know what constitutes me stabbing him as fair game

saucyaussie: the fact that you stabbed him makes you like 400000 times hotter and ur already super hot

T. Yamashiro: can we block people on this?

harlz: yes!!!!!

T. Yamashiro: one sec

saucyaussie: dont block me

saucyaussie: just bc im dead sexy doesnt mean i cant cut you

kroc: wow that was so threatening

kroc: im terrified

saucyaussie: u should be

chato-of-the-flames: im guessing u cant tell when ppl r using sarcasm over text

saucyaussie: CROC UR NEXT

kroc: take ur best shot tiny

harlz: oh SNAP

 

_T. Yamashiro blocked saucyaussie from the group SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) at 9:36 AM today._

 

dead-center: SAVAGE AF

chato-of-the-flames: oh DAMN

kroc: ICONIC

harlz: GET REKT

JuneMoone: That got really real really fast.

harlz: oh sNAP JUNE COMING 4 BLOOD

RF: Uh

RF: First off, Floyd don’t stab me.

RF: June is a sassmaster so watch out

kroc: im gonna add digger back

dead-center: why

kroc: we need someone to take the heat of the jokes

dead-center: yeah makes sense

T. Yamashiro: I only stabbed rick with a pencil - but I did leave a scar

kroc: damn

harlz: tatsu is my new fave person ever

dead-center: preach

 

_kroc added saucyaussie to the group SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) at 9:41 AM today._

 

saucyaussie: so tatsu 

saucyaussie: u dating anyone

RF: Nope you are not allowed to go there Digger. That’s a hard no.

 

_T. Yamashiro blocked saucyaussie from the group SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) at 9:44 AM today._

 

harlz: thats a hell of a clapback dayum

chato-of-the-flames: anyone else think that the chat name is super long or

kroc: yeah

JuneMoone: Kinda?

harlz: i feel ~betrayed~

dead-center: sorry not sorry bc its the truth

 

_kroc changed the name of SQUAD (yes we are a squad fight me) to suck it digger_

 

chato-of-the-flames: nice one

kroc: thx bro

harlz: i approve of the new name

 

_chato-of-the-flames added saucyaussie to the group suck it digger at 9:47 AM today._

 

saucyaussie: R U GUYS SERIOUS

 

_saucyaussie changed the name of suck it digger to DIGGER IS BAE #1 at 9:48 AM today._

 

dead-center: if only that was true

saucyaussie: SHUT UP FLOYD

harlz: GUYSSS

harls: GUYSSSSSSSS

harlz: GUYZZZZZZZZZ

kroc: what harley

harlz: nuthin

harlz: just had a QUESTION

T. Yamashiro: care to share with the class

harlz: well we all were in detention TOGETHA but no one told anyone WHY they were in the school hellhole!!!!!!!!!! we should share!!!!!

dead-center: this isnt a damn campfire harley. i dont c any smores

kroc: smores r delicious

chato-of-the-flames: damn straight

RF: I wasn’t in detention Harley

harlz: well arent u a goody goody rick

harlz: this is 4 everyone who WAS in detention

harlz: u know, me, floyd, chato, waylon, tatsu, digger, june

harlz: all the cool ppl

harlz: the BEST part of the SQUAD

harlz: speaking of!!!!

 

_harlz changed the name of DIGGER IS BAE #1 to BEST SQUAD 9:55 AM today._

 

chato-of-the-flames: burned some shit in chem u

kroc: yeah didnt u burn sumthing w/ flamin hot cheetos

chato-of -the-flames: NEW SCREENNAME HOLD UP

 

_chato-of-the-flames changed his screen-name to flamin-hot at 9:58 AM today._

 

harlz: hotwired the deans car and took a joyride

kroc: dAYUM

kroc: . . . id rather not say

harlz: BOOOOOO

harlz: wbu june??

RF: June didn’t get a detention

JuneMoone: . . . 

RF: Did you???

JuneMoone: I broke an ancient artifact by accident

harlz: ooh, how ancient?????

JuneMoone: . . . 15th century or so

kroc: oh sHIT

saucyaussie: fought some ppl

kroc: like who

saucyaussie: y do u need to know

kroc: bc ur gonna tell us in two seconds thought id save us the dramatic announcement

flamin-hot: lol

saucyaussie: RUDE

saucyaussie: i was fighting that asshole 

kroc: we go to gotham university like everyone is an asshole

kroc: u gotta b more specific

RF: I can’t believe all of you

RF: Specifically Harley

dead-center: no one cares rick

dead-center: i fucked up during rotc nothing new

harlz: tatsu?!?!?!?!?!?!

saucyaussie: HEY

saucyaussie: WHAT ABOUT ME  
dead-center: no one cares

kroc: is that like your catchphrase

saucyaussie: DOES NO ONE CARE THAT I TOOK THAT ASSHOLE BARRY ALLEN DOWN

harlz: digger i was THERe

harlz: and barry totally owned u

harlz: tatsu cmon we need to KNOW

T. Yamashiro: martial arts class

kroc: ?????

flamin-hot: wdym

T. Yamashiro: some dumbass attacked me outside of class and i took his punkass down

saucyaussie: that just made you EVEN HOTTER

 

_harlz created I SHIP IT at 10:16 AM today._

_harlz added dead-center, flamin-hot, kroc, RF, and JuneMoone to the group I SHIP IT at 10:17 AM today._

 

harlz: i ship tatsu and digger SO HARD

flamin-hot: OTP

kroc: NOTP

flamin-hot: broooooooo y

harlz: what????? whyyyyyyyyy

kroc: tatsu could do so much better 

flamin-hot: yeah but

flamin-hot: just imagine the bamf tatsu and the dumbass digger

flamin-hot: best comic book ever

dead-center: dont c it

harlz: what

harlz: u r cray @floyd

harlz: super cray

RF: I don’t see it

JuneMoone: I don’t really know?

JuneMoone: Rick you’re best friends with Tatsu how does she feel about him?

RF: It’s Tatsu

RF: Everytime I mention him she just rolls her eyes

harlz: soooooooo

harlz: its more of a one-sided thing???? like digger is in lurv w/ her but she doesnt feel the same?????

kroc: idk

dead-center: that sounds like some shakespeare bs

flamin-hot: u know that they can see we;re online but not messaging them but still messaging rite

dead-center: crap

kroc: im going back to the squad

harlz: u mean the SQUAD

dead-center: jesus

 

harlz: im back!!!!!!

saucyaussie: whered u go

saucyaussie: u abandoned us

T. Yamashiro: mostly him

harlz: had stuff to take care of!!!!

harlz: anyway!!!!

kroc: anyone up 4 studying tonite w/ me and chato

JuneMoone: Where?

kroc: idk

flamin-hot: wendys

dead-center: im down - i didnt pay my netflix bill & i need sum entertainment

T. Yamashiro: what are you studying

kroc: not really ‘studying’

kroc: more like eating food and gossip

harlz: im SO THERE

flamin-hot: or chickfila

flamin-hot: wait no i forgot we dont like chickfila

RF: Why

flamin-hot: we could go to burger king

dead-center: the closest burger king is 20 miles away

flamin-hot: oh!

JuneMoone: I have class but I’ll be back

harlz: bye june!!

flamin-hot: big belly burger

kroc: yessssssssss

harlz: <3 me a burger im SO down

RF: I guess I’ll come too

saucyaussie: im in

T. Yamashiro: i’ll be there to keep the rest of you in line

kroc: what time is cool w/ everyone

RF: I have a 7:30 class but I’m out by 9:00

harlz: im free all nite!!!!!

flamin-hot: dont u have class

harlz: wat r u talking abt i f-ing OOZE class

flamin-hot: not wat i meant

dead-center: dont u have a life

harlz: oh. wow. im so hurt.

harlz: & i was abt 2 treat u 2 food floyd

saucyaussie: im free my last class ends at 6 - tatsu feel free to treat me to dinner

T. Yamashiro: let’s all just meet at bbb at 9:30

T. Yamashiro: don’t talk to me digger

harlz: hey! @the-ladies wanna meet up w/ me at my dorm come on by!!!!!!

dead-center: yeah that aint happening dont come by my room unless u wanna get punched in the face

harlz: it was 2 the LADIES floyd

harlz: cant u read

RF: So Big Belly Burger at 9:30? Isn’t that kind of late?

kroc: tmmr is a holiday - no classes 

flamin-hot: also bbb is open 24/7

harlz: this is gonna b LIT

harlz: rnt u all PUMPED for the SQUAD???????

kroc: lets all just meet @ the dining hall @ 9:15 & leave 2gether?

flamin-hot: sounds chill

 

 

_flamin-hot changed the name of BEST SQUAD to hungry squad at 9:07 PM today._

 

flamin-hot: guysss hurry up

flamin-hot: im hungry for burgers & for drama

kroc: im here!!!

harlz: im coming sooooooon i had 2 stop somewhere

dead-center: where

harlz: id tell u but then id have to kill u ;)

dead-center: omw

JuneMoone: I’m here! Where are you guys?

kroc: under the bigass tree out front

JuneMoone: Oh, sorry! I was on the other side :/

RF: I’m here

dead-center: and were all so proud

RF: shut up floyd

T. Yamashiro: why are all of us texting if we are all right next to each other

kroc: bc f the system

flamin-hot: WHERES DIGGER IM STARVING

saucyaussie: ohhhhhhh

saucyaussie: im already there

saucyaussie: thought we were just meeting there

dead-center: way 2 screw up digger

 

_harlz changed the name of hungry squad to GET IT TOGETHER DIGGER at 9:17 PM today._

 

saucyaussie: sorry if u guys werent clear

kroc: u meant that 2 sound sassy af but honestly it just sounded sad

flamin-hot: damn

harlz: savage

flamin-hot: guys lets GO

flamin-hot: im DYING OF HUNGER

dead-center: cool ur jets chato

dead-center: im getting us a cab now

harlz: ooooooh make it a big one!!!!!!!!!

kroc: digger will u order 4 us

saucyaussie: will u pay me back

harlz: probably

saucyaussie: better than nothing wat do u want

flamin-hot: jalepeno cheesburger chile fries and water

kroc: 3 cheeseburgers 2 large fries

JuneMoone: Veggie burger with sweet potato fries?

harlz: cheese friez and a strawberry shake!!!!!! WITH SPRINKLES! AND XTRA WHIP   
saucyaussie: sprinkles r always on the shakes u dont need 2 specify

harlz: no i mean sprinkles on the fries 2

harlz: tell em its from harlz and theyll understand

dead-center: bacon cheeseburger

T. Yamashiro: coffee. black.

RF: Barbeque cheeseburger

saucyaussie: a please would b nice

dead-center: like ud ever say please & thank u to us

saucyaussie: no one asked u floyd

kroc: ok were on r way

saucyaussie: come fast

saucyaussie: theres this group of people giving me a weirdass look

kroc: y

dead-center: maybe bc its digger?

harlz: or bc hes holding a huge table 4 8 wen hes only 1 person

RF: We’ll be there in two minutes. Don’t start fighting people

saucyaussie: they keep lookng @ me like that and i will

harlz: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

harlz: WITH SPRINKLES   
kroc: im beginning 2 regret thsi

flamin-hot: just BEGINNING?


	3. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the fab feedback!!!! I'm an awkard person so I don't know how to reply but I know for sure that I go back and check the comments section every 20 minutes to see if they're real (and I might've taken some photos of them). Thanks so much for reading!!!!!!!!!! I hope you like this chapter, sorry there's not that much Tatsu/Digger actually happening yet but it will!!! Slowly! I'm glad you all like how much the rest of the SQUAD (I had to do it in all caps :p) ship them!!!!!! Love you all!!!!!!! <3<3<3<3

dead-center: i cant blieve im asking this but

dead-center: does sumone want 2 study w/ me 2nite?

harlz: OH MY GOD

harlz: ITS HAPPENING

harlz: THE SQUAD IS FINALLY A THING

 

_harlz changed the name of hungry squad to SQUAD HELP FLOYD at 2:43 PM today._

 

dead-center: im already regreting this

kroc: wat r u studying

dead-center: trig

kroc: sorry bruh

kroc: i suck @ trig

kroc: @chato?

flamin-hot: i can help but i need backup

harlz: sorry sweeties!!! i cant remember any trig!!!!!

RF: You think you’d be less cheery stating that

JuneMoone: I’ll help

harlz: im still coming tho!!!!!! never gonna not help out the SQUAD

T. Yamashiro: i’m in your class i’ll be there

saucyaussie: if tatsus there im there

saucyaussie: @tatsu u think abt my date offer? ;)))

kroc: u know u made that offer wen u had soda literally pouring out of ur nose rite

kroc: if u were going 4 sexyyyy u failed

dead-center: so hard

flamin-hot: also rite after u asked u started a fight w/ those guys next 2 us

flamin-hot: u also now have a black eye

saucyaussie: yeah bc tatsu likes bad boyz

dead-center: never repeat that

RF: Ever

JuneMoone: I don’t know Tatsu that well and I can already tell that was an awful thing to say George

saucyaussie: @june its digger

saucyaussie: but tatsu can call me whatever she wants ;)))))

harlz: that wuz like the sleaziest thing eva

harlz: & i know sleazy

 

_kroc changed the name of SQUAD HELP FLOYD to digger stop it at 2:56 PM today._

 

RF: I can’t help, sorry

RF: I have an essay that’s due tonight and I need to edit

flamin-hot: so where r we meeting?

dead-center: if harleys coming not the library well get kicked out

harlz: RUDE AF

harlz: but true ;)

JuneMoone: Coffee shop across from the quad?

flamin-hot: sounds good 2 me

T. Yamashiro: sure

dead-center: wat time

JuneMoone: When is everyone free?

T. Yamashiro: 9pm-3am for me

kroc: y is it till 3

T. Yamashiro: i sleep too

flamin-hot: 8 - kroc ur coming 2

kroc: y

flamin-hot: ill buy u food

kroc: im there - 8

dead-center: 8 for me 2

JuneMoone: 7:30PM for me

flamin-hot: so 9 @ the coffee place?

dead-center: wat time do they close

JuneMoone: They close at 1

harlz: afterwards we should all go CLUBBIN

harlz: cmon its not like we all have class tmmr

harlz: we need 2 go CRAY as a SQUAD

harlz: we gonna get TURNT

kroc: im gonna regret this but fine

harlz: YASSSSS kroc is in

flamin-hot: ill go

flamin-hot: im krocs roommate ill need 2 take him home wen he gets hammered

dead-center: sure y not

dead-center: 1 of u is def gonna get drunk & imma hold it over ur head 4ever

harlz: yassssssss floyd is IN w/ the SQUAD

harlz: tatsu?? digger??? rick??????? june???

saucyaussie: do they have beer

harlz: its a club of course they have beer

T. Yamashiro: no

RF: No way

harlz: awwwwwwwwwwww

harlz: no fun we need the whole SQUAD

JuneMoone: I’ll come

flamin-hot: whoa did not take u for a party gurl

JuneMoone: I like an adventure!

 

_harlz created the ladies <3<3<3 at 3:20 PM today._

_harlz added T. Yamashiro and June Moone to the ladies <3<3<3 at 3:21 PM today._

 

harlz: tatsu y rnt u coming???????????

harlz: we need u

harlz: ur like the only 1 who can keep digger from going cray

harlz: and i mean CRAY

JuneMoone: Tatsu, it’ll be fun!

JuneMoone: We can get some coffee, get some alcohol, dance? Please?

harlz: YASSSS 

harlz: at least get an espresso????

harlz: were all 21 we can drink

harlz: so lets go get TURNT

JuneMoone: If you want to leave I’ll come with you.

T. Yamashiro: fine

 

harlz: TATSU IS COMING

saucyaussie: ;)))))))

 

_dead-center blocked saucyaussie from the group digger stop it at 3:34 PM today._

 

kroc: b

flamin-hot: wut is that

kroc: my emoji keyboard isnt working this is as close to a thumsb up i can get

harlz: @the-ladies we should meet up b4 we go!!!!!!!

dead-center: @june r u still dating rick

JuneMoone: Yes?

dead-center: y

dead-center: like seriously y

dead-center: wat is his appeal

RF: I’M IN THIS CHAT FLOYD

dead-center: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

kroc: brooooooooooo

kroc: thats the most iconic thing since tatsu blocked digger

RF: FLOYD ARE YOU KIDDING ME

dead-center: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

dead-center: @june i seriously cant blieve ur w/ him

dead-center: like y

 

_JuneMoone left the group digger stop it at 3:41 PM today._

 

harlz: whaaaaaaaaaaaaat??????????? yd june leave?????????

kroc: mayb bc she couldnt think of a reason y shes w/ rick? :p

flamin-hot: lol

RF: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

RF: I'M STILL IN THIS CHAT   
RF: SOMEONE BACK ME UP

RF: TATSU  
T. Yamashiro: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

RF: CHATO

flamin-hot: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

flamin-hot: sorry bro

RF: KROC

kroc: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

RF: Harley?

harlz: well sweeties

harlz: wats it gonna b??????

harlz: hmmmmmmmmmm

harlz: ;))))))

harlz: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

RF: Fine

RF: I’m doing this

 

_RF added saucyaussie to the group suck it digger at 3:45 PM today._

 

saucyaussie: brooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

harlz: savage af rite?????????

saucyaussie: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

_RF blocked saucyaussie from the group suck it digger at 3:47 PM today._

_T. Yamashiro added saucyaussie and JuneMoone to the group suck it digger at 3:47 PM today._

 

harlz: hoLY SHIT

kroc: it HAPPENED

flamin-hot: wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttt

dead-center: did not c that comin damn

flamin-hot: never gonna 4get this daYUM

T. Yamashiro: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

JuneMoone: *sigh*

JuneMoone: Rick and I are dating because we love each other and care.

RF: THANK YOU

 

_harlz changed the name of I SHIP IT to IT”S HAPPENING ERMAHGOD at 3:52 PM today._

 

harlz: this is a chapter in HISTORY ERMAHGOD

dead-center: still dont ship it but DAMN

kroc: imma go down w/ this ship now

flamin-hot: yasssssss kroc jumped ship

flamin-hot: THE OTP LIVES

JuneMoone: Well this certainly changed fast

RF:. . . I mean it’s Tatsu

RF: Tatsu does whatever Tatsu wants

dead-center: like SLAY

harlz: #tatsu4prez2k16

kroc: im so voting 4 tatsu

flamin-hot: SAME

JuneMoone: But couldn’t she have just added Digger back to the chat so we could continue to roast Rick? No offense Rick.

kroc: oooooooooohhhhh didnt think abt that

flamin-hot: @june bringin new perspective hmmmmmmm

harlz: i mean @june ur prob rite

harlz: BUT STILL SHIPPIN HARD

dead-center: seriously is anyone going to help me w/ trig tho

flamin-hot: imma head back to squad

harlz: ITS SQUAD

harlz: SQUAD

harlz: SQUAD

 

T. Yamashiro: why do you disappear altogether all the time

T. Yamashiro: its like youre all in a secret gang

harlz: or a secret squad ;))))))))))))))

dead-center: hold up

dead-center: u always do squad in all caps

dead-center: but now ur doing lowercase????

kroc: pls explain b4 i lose my mind

flamin-hot: pls explain to hte masses

harlz: its simple sweeties

harlz: us, the SQUAD, is all caps

harlz: in general, squads, r lowercase

harlz: we r all caps

harlz: bc we r the BEST SQUAD

kroc: thx

harlz: & now u know how 2 address the SQUAD

harlz: the RITE way

flamin-hot: uhhhhhhhhhh

dead-center: i gotta go

dead-center: i need 2 study

kroc: c u 2nite @ the coffee place

flamin-hot: im ready

flamin-hot: i also cost ten bucks

JuneMoone: Bye! I also must leave :(

kroc: bye @june! c u soon

RF: My essay is calling. I don’t know why but I’m going to the coffee place tonight. And clubbing. 

harlz: bye sweeties! i gotta go 2 :((((((((((((((

kroc: i guess i gotta go 2

kroc: im holding u 2 the food offer @chato

T. Yamashiro: i have class. someone add the obnoxious asshole back to the chat.

 

_harlz changed the name of IT”S HAPPENING ERMAHGOD to I STILL SHIP IT at 4:15 PM today._

 

harlz: i still ship it


	4. #shakespeare

_flamin-hot changed the name of suck it digger to damn kroc at 4:12 AM today._

_flamin-hot added saucyaussie to damn kroc at 4:14 AM today._

 

flamin-hot: broooooo how many shots can you do?

kroc: ;D

dead-center: and i thought i went hard

harlz: that was the best thing EVER

harlz: we should all go clubbing again!!!!!!!

harlz: round 2 tmmr!!!!!!!!!!!!!

harlz: whos in??????????

kroc: im down but im a dd tmmr

harlz: wat???? yyyyyyyyyyy

kroc: exams

flamin-hot: ill go

saucyaussie: gets go letst fukcing CRAYZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYY

saucyaussie: p=s ttatsuuuuuuuuuuuu go outt ohn edate wqith mehhhh

saucyaussie: ur likce souper hawt and shexyyysd

saucyaussie: i hafe at ttaotoo soo im hatw anad signgle u fe;le mee/?

harlz: lol

dead-shot: how drunk r u

flamin-hot: more important whats diggers tattoo

kroc: is that what thats supposed 2 mean

dead-center: how much did u drink 2nite bc ur drunk off ur ass

saucyaussie: U RNTA ALWOED TOO JUDGE MEH FOYLD

saucyaussie: UR WORSE THEN THAT ASHSOEL IN NAUSTAIRLA

saucyaussie: NAD HE WAS ASHOELSJE

harlz: wtf did he do?

flamin-hot: wtf is digger saying

kroc: srsly

kroc: ur hammered

saucyaussie: HE sTOLE A;LK SPINKIE

dead-center: wtf

kroc: srsly wtf

saucyaussie: HE STOHELA PINKEI

harlz: idek where 2 start w/ that

harlz: wtf

flamin-hot: digger ur drunk go to sleep

kroc: this is y we need the designated sober friend

dead-center: u mean rick

kroc: yeah

kroc: thats y we need rick

 

_dead-center changed the name of damn kroc to rick is the sober friend at 4:20 AM today._

 

flamin-hot: nice

flamin-hot: imma head out - gotta get sum sleep

flamin-hot: i need at least 2 hrs or i get pissed

dead-center: we know

harlz: bye sweetie!!!!!!!!!!! coffee w/ the SQUAD @ 830 - b there or b square

kroc: r u seriously bringing that back

harlz: HELL YES SWEETIES

harlz: byeeeee SQUAD fam

dead-center: imma go 2 - c u tmmr

kroc: ill b here

kroc: on the internet

kroc: looking for the govs conspiracy

kroc: or u know

kroc: hackin sum shit

kroc: peace SQUAD

harlz: KROC DID ALL CAPS 2 BC KROC IS BADASS & SLAYSSSSSSSSSS U GO KROC

harlz: U GO GLENN COCO

 

_RF changed the name of rick is the sober friend to REALLY GUYS? at 7:38AM today._

 

RF: REALLY?

kroc: ;)

dead-center: u didnt have a drink all nite

flamin-hot: ur the designated sober friend

kroc: if u didnt want the title u shouldve bin on 2 fight 4 urself

RF: It was 4:30 in the morning!!!!!!!

harlz: whooaaaaaaaa

harlz: we need the rest of SQUAD to weigh in

flamin-hot: @tatsu @digger @june - we need ur advice

kroc: who is the advice friend

flamin-hot: r we going off of who gives good advice or who gives the rite advice

dead-center: rite advice

flamin-hot: hmm

flamin-hot: prob @kroc

kroc: thx bro

dead-center: who is each friend role

kroc: june is 4 sure the adventurous friend - like shed go in a cave & climb trees adn all that shit like shes hardcore gonna find something amazing like shes all sweet nd shit but nah shes gon do whatev the fuck she wants bc shes adventurous AF

JuneMoone: Awww that’s so sweet!

harlz: oooh good point

harlz: who am i??????

dead-center: ur the designated crazy friend

saucyaussie: y am i heerrreee im beter tehn this

flamin-hot: digger is DEF the drunk friend

kroc: b

harlz: who is tatsu!!!!!!!????????

saucyaussie: the HAWT freindd

dead-center: nah tatsu is like the ‘imma cut u and laugh at ur pain’ kinda friend u feel

kroc: a+ description

T. Yamashiro: aww thanks @floyd

T. Yamashiro: i find that to be a compliment

flamin-hot: i guess im the ‘here bc my friend roped me into it’ friend

flamin-hot: yes that was towards u kroc

kroc: *gasp*#offended

JuneMoone: Rick I’m sorry but you are definitely the sober friend.

harlz: burned by his own girlfriend im dyiNG

harlz: also im at the coffee shop where r u guys??????

flamin-hot: i thought we were meeting @8:30

dead-center: oh u were serious

harlz: WTF OF COURSE I WUZ SERIOUS

kroc: omw

harlz: yeah i said wed meet @830 but like i wanted coffee now???? so i went and i have an espresso now?????? i thought i texted u guys???????

harlz: oh wait

harlz: no i didnt text u - sorry!!!!

harlz: not sorry

harlz: y cant u read my mind?

flamin-hot: uhhh

kroc: ok im here

kroc: im getting in line grab me a seat?

harlz: of COURSE

harlz: anything for my fave member of the SQUAD

dead-center: im hurt

RF: Honestly I’m not surprised.

flamin-hot: what? harley i thought we were chill af

harlz: jk i love all of u!

saucyaussie: fine im comming

T. Yamashiro: harley you do realize im two tables over from you

harlz: wat? come over!!!!!!!

T. Yamashiro: i have the big table - the one with like nine seats

harlz: im coming!

JuneMoone: Here

RF: I’ll be there soon

saucyaussie: ughhh im here

dead-center: and were all so proud

flamin-hot: ok im coming soon but like y r we all getting coffee

harlz: good question!!!!!

harlz: hangover cure!!!!!!!!!!!

harlz: lookin @ u digger bc u were WASTED

JuneMoone: I don’t think coffee is the best cure for a hangover, sleeping and some seltzer water with lime works better.

dead-center: hold up how do u know this @june

JuneMoone: Maybe because I was hungover this morning?

kroc: OH SNAP

flamin-hot: @floyd u were there u saw her doin shots n shit did u just get 2 drunk that u cant remember

harlz: nope, they have a hangover cure they make there special!

harlz: tastes awful but works like a dreams nitemare!

flamin-hot: uhhh

kroc: wut 

 

_T. Yamashiro changed the name of REALLY GUYS? to june is a queen at 8:06 AM today._

 

harlz: u nailed it gurl

T. Yamashiro: harley i’m sitting right next to you

kroc: ok im almost at the front of this line

kroc: damn its huge

kroc: imma get some of those hangover cures 4 everyone

kroc: harl u need more coffee

kroc: i need coffee

kroc: june u prob need coffee 2 

kroc: ok im just buying everything u can pay me back later or smthn

harlz: THX SWEETIE  
JuneMoone: Waylon you’re so sweet!!!

dead-center: @rick is kroc comin 4 ur girl

harlz: y do sum of us call @kroc kroc but sum call him waylon? #ponder

kroc: literally either is chill with me

RF: I’ve decided at this point just to stay out of it. Or i’m probably going to die.

flamin-hot: damn straight 

RF: ???

flamin-hot: dont mess with my bro or imma fuck u up

T. Yamashiro: respect

RF: ??????

T. Yamashiro: you spill blood for blood

kroc: im so confused rite now

saucyaussie: me to????????? i dont understand who we killing

harlz: for once digger asks the rite questions

saucyaussie: @tatsu u know sumtimes u really scare me 

flamin-hot: uh same sorry tatsu

T. Yamashiro: someone hurts your blood, someone you share blood with. they get fucked up. blood for blood.

dead-center: aight

dead-center: i get that

RF: How did we become friends

T. Yamashiro: i saved your punk ass next question

saucyaussie: wanna go out ;)

 

_JuneMoone blocked saucyaussie from the group june is a queen at 8:22 AM today._

 

harlz: SAVAGE

flamin-hot: im almost at the coffee place

flamin-hot: or 

flamin-hot: comin in hot

kroc: bro i thought we were past ur horrible puns

flamin-hot: horrible do you mean life giving

flamin-hot: these are fucking pearls of goddamn gold

JuneMoone: Not really sure pearls work that way?

harlz: dont bow down to the man chato u do u do the puns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dead-center: u were a cheerleader werent u

harlz: howd u know?!?

dead-center: just a hunch

kroc: r we adding digger back or

RF: Let’s let him stew for a little bit and see another rant

kroc: b

flamin-hot: bro u really need 2 figure out how 2 fix ur emoji keyboard

kroc: dont try and make me succumb to the societal standards of the man bro

harlz: yassss

JuneMoone: No taxation without representation :)

RF: I’m just going to go out on a limb and say we’re all going to die at some point because of this squad

kroc: im the designated advice friend so yes

dead-center: in this scenario y r we dying

dead-center: wat did we do

RF: How the hell should i know

harlz: RICK WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE

harlz: THINK OF THE GODDAMN CHILDREN

kroc: wat children were all 21

harlz: NOT THE POINT

flamin-hot: theres a point?

dead-center: i dont even know anymore with yall

RF: Why am I here

 

_harlz changed the name of june is a queen to goody goody rick at 8:35 AM today._

 

RF: ???

harlz: ‘y do u do illegal stuff thats bad’

kroc: ‘u shouldnt drink so much ull get in trouble’

flamin-hot: ‘u shouldnt do that its not good for ur future’

T. Yamashiro: ‘that’s how you end up in JAIL tatsu’

dead-center: ‘sweet lord floyd u rnt supposed 2 do that 2 a fetal pig’

JuneMoone: ‘Do you ever think about how this might impact your future?’

harlz: ‘harley u cant do that’

harlz: ‘harley u shouldnt steal the deans car again’

harlz: ‘harley stop stealing the deans car’

kroc: how many times have u stolen the deans car

harlz: ;)

kroc: oh shit

 

_kroc added saucyaussie to the group goody goody rick at 8:37 PM today._

 

saucyaussie: WHAT THE FUCK GUYS

saucyaussie: STOP BLOCKING ME ALL THE DAMN TIME

saucyaussie: IM HOTTER THEN ALL OF YOU AND I WILL FIGHT ALL OF UR ASSES

saucyaussie: ok maybe not harley bc u scare me

saucyaussie: or tatsu u rlly scare me

saucyaussie: or chato bc ur kinda chill

saucyaussie: BUT STOP BLCOKING ME

dead-center: stop being a dumbass and we will

saucyaussie: FUCK U

kroc: b

kroc: @digger u seriously need ur hangover cure

RF: If you’re all together why are you all texting?

flamin-hot: uh 2 keep u in the loop duh

RF: Oh

dead-center: dumbass

RF: Would you all just stop roasting me in this?Please?

harlz: NOPE

kroc: live the roast b the roast @rick

RF: I AM

JuneMoone: Oh, we know.

harlz: LAWL

harlz: thats the phonetic spelling of lol just in case

saucyaussie: we got taht

dead-center: thats a surprise

saucyaussie: Ur such an ass @flyod

dead-center: no one cares

kroc: yeah thats wat im saying - b the roast. succumb 2 ur fate.

RF: I’M NOT SUCCUMBING TO SHIT

harlz: WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE OR IM GONNA FUCK YOU THE HELL UP LIKE UR ASS IS GONNA BE GODDAMN DEAD WHEN IM FUCKING DONE SO WATCH UR GODDAMN LANGUAGE SHIT

flamin-hot:  . . .

dead-center: #shakespeare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ermagosh thanks for all the amazing feedback!!!! I'm sorry the updates haven't been really happening recently but that should be changing! I hope (this isn't set in stone but I do hope) to have updates on Wednesdays and Fridays/Saturdays starting tomorrow??? Please let me know in the comments feedback and thank you all so much for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you sweeties! <3


	5. couple's squabble

_flamin-hot created the group asskickers at 12:41 AM today._

_flamin-hot added kroc and T. Yamashiro to the group asskickers at 12:42 AM today._

 

flamin-hot: hey yall

kroc: bin a while since uve broken out the yall

kroc: same 4 the puns

kroc: wats happening?

flamin-hot: i thought, u know, were kinda like the patrol for the squad

kroc: SQUAD  
flamin-hot: whatever

flamin-hot: so wed need r own space 2 talk n shit

flamin-hot: u guys down?

kroc: always bruh

kroc: u know i always got ur back u 2 @tatsu

T. Yamashiro: why not

T. Yamashiro: thanks waylon

kroc: b

flamin-hot: jesus

flamin-hot: pls fix ur keyboard

flamin-hot: its getting ridiculous

kroc: dont u take that tone w/ me

kroc: respect ur elders chato

flamin-hot: WERE THE SAME AGE

kroc: not true

kroc: im two months older

flamin-hot: two months my ass

flamin-hot: were basically the same age

kroc: dont use that tone w/ me young man

flamin-hot: jesus christ

T. Yamashiro: i’d stop you guys but this is hilarious

T. Yamashiro: how can you argue all the time yet still manage to be best friends

kroc: we r the og friend goals

flamin-hot: damn straight

kroc: hella

flamin-hot: dont worry tatsu ull find ur bestie one day

kroc: they will find u

flamin-hot: we always find eachother

kroc: damn straight

T. Yamashiro: this is so much of a bromance, how do you even function?

kroc: with grace

kroc: and dignity

flamin-hot: OH SHIT GUYS I FUCKED UP

kroc:. . .

kroc:. . .

kroc:. . .

kroc: and then that happens

T. Yamashiro: that was amazing

kroc: wat happened this time

flamin-hot: so u know how we have that ~other~ chat???

T. Yamashiro: what in the hell are you talking about?

kroc: nvm go on!!!

flamin-hot: nvm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flamin-hot: so im textin harley

flamin-hot: nd i mention by accident tht i kinda did the arson thing a way back wen

flamin-hot: its not sumthin im rlly proud of or nything so i shouldntve mentioned it nd wat if harley tells by accident or sumthin????

kroc: just explain 2 her that its kinda private nd ur trusting her 2 keep in between the 2 of u

T. Yamashiro: harley respects boundaries, she’ll get it. don’t worry.

T. Yamashiro: if not i got this.

kroc:. . . wat will u do???

flamin-hot: im gonna text her brb

kroc: @tatsu?

T. Yamashiro: yes?

kroc: wat will u do???????????

T. Yamashiro: do you like the inside of jail cells?

kroc:. . . no

T. Yamashiro: then it’s best i keep it private.

 

_harlz changed the name of goody goody rick to LETS PARTY SQUAD at 1:17 AM today._

 

harlz: whos in?????????

dead-center: y

flamin-hot: uh

JuneMoone: I’ll come?

RF: June?!?!?

flamin-hot: i like how floyd is so done that u can hear it in his texts a+ work fam

kroc: im ready to party leggo

flamin-hot: harley its 1 am 

harlz: so??

RF: HARLEY IT’S ONE IN THE MORNING.

harlz: RICK IS A #certifiedBUZZKILL 

T. Yamashiro: i’m down

kroc: aw HELL yes

kroc: my homegirl tatsu gonna slay w/ me harlz nd june!!!!! its gonna be lit!!!!!!!!!

harlz: WHOOOOOOOOOO

flamin-hot: im going

flamin-hot: u need someone 2 watch u 

flamin-hot: again

kroc: rude

flamin-hot: hmm remind me again who took u home last sat. nite bc u were 2 hammered 2 function like an actual human being?

kroc: #offended

kroc: take it down a notch buddy

flamin-hot: dont get stupid drunk all the time and maybe i would

dead-center: dont allow us 2 get in the middle of ur couples squabble @chato @kroc

harlz: OMG

T. Yamashiro: respect

JuneMoone: Floyd is such a savage

RF: Oh my god

dead-center: oh my LORD is RICK using FOUL LANGUAGE 

dead-center: RICK

dead-center: RICK - THE rick FLAG

saucyaussie: lets partyyyyyyyyyyy

RF: Digger don’t you have that huge Foreign Affairs test tomorrow?

RF: I’m pointedly ignoring you now @Floyd.

dead-center: @rick RUDE AF

harlz: @rick HAVE RESPECT 4 UR ELDERS GOD

saucyaussie: dont c ur point?

RF: Never mind. 

harlz: THIS IS GONNA B SO LIT THE SQUADS GONNA PARTY LIKE A BOSS

harlz: RICK UR COMIN RITE?

harlz: U HAVE 2 COME!

RF: Why

kroc: bc ur the designated sober friend nd we need u

flamin-hot: oh we need HIM

flamin-hot: apparently we need HIM but u dont need CHATO i c how it IS waylon JESUS

JuneMoone:. . .

dead-center: yalls lovers spat is getting a little uncomfortable can u tone it down

kroc: making a point

flamin-hot: if we were a couple wed be so cute wed smoke ur asses tho @june @rick

kroc: wed b comin 4 ur couple crown #watchout

JuneMoone: Don’t doubt it

RF: *sigh*

saucyaussie: LETS HIT THE CLUB WHA T R WE WAITNG 4

harlz: 4 once i TOTALLY AGREE w/ digger

harlz: its time 2 PARTY

 

_harlz changed the name of LETS PARTY SQUAD to PARTY TIME at 1:26 AM today._

 

dead-center: u know

dead-center: wen u use all caps all the time

dead-center: it dramatically lessens the effect of ur words wen in all caps

flamin-hot: #slowclapforfloyd

harlz: rude af @floyd

harlz: rethinking asking u 2 come party w/ us

dead-center: if u look back i never said i wuz coming

kroc: ooh

JuneMoone: #getwrecked

RF: Really June?

JuneMoone: You can’t stop the fire Rick

T. Yamashiro: that was amazing

saucyaussie: where is the ALCHOHOL

kroc: @digger learn how to spell the word alcohol and then u can talk

flamin-hot: lol

T. Yamashiro: are we actually going to go party or are we going to say we are all night long?

T. Yamashiro: because i’m fine leaving all your asses here and partying 

RF: Fine

RF: Outside of the quad, in front of the statue. Ten minutes. Meet there. 

harlz: yassssssssssss

dead-center: apparently im coming with u

flamin-hot: wen was this decided?

dead-center: wen @rick texted me and told me that i had 2 come so he wasnt the only 1 not drinking

dead-center: jokes on him im getting drunk 2nite

RF: WHY DOES EVERYONE FORGET I’M IN THIS CHAT

harlz: maybe bc rick is expendable 2 the SQUAD? #ponder

dead-center: if u dont ever respond we 4get ur here - cant help roasting u 

saucyaussie: sorry mate

RF: HARLEY

harlz: jk! @rick ur totes important 2 the SQUAD! every1 is!! thats y ur in it!!!!! 

harlz: also bc ur like the one who reminds us 2 like eat food nd stuff

kroc: speak 4 urself i love food

kroc: how could u ever 4get food

kroc: food is always there 4 u

flamin-hot: i could go 4 some food rite now

JuneMoone: Same

saucyaussie: y do we always get food or coffee 4 once 4 ONCE can we just go get drunk JESUE FUCINK CHISTR

kroc: your spelling really takes the edge out of your threats

saucyaussie: FUCK UOU

dead-center: ur spellcheck

dead-center: its as fucked up as krocs emoji keyboard

kroc: thx 4 the backup but kinda backhanded?

flamin-hot: lol

harlz: @rick im out front where r u?

harlz: oh @june @chato i c u guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JuneMoone: I see you!! Your hair looks awesome!

flamin-hot: @harlz yeah ur hair does look badass but like why is half of ur shirt burned off

harlz: #aesthetic

RF: I have a cab coming in five minutes. Everyone coming tonight either be with the rest of us in on the quad within 2 minutes or we’re leaving without you.

harlz: knew ud come thru!!!!!!!! <3333333333

saucyaussie: R WE OR R WE NOT GETING DURNK TONITE

kroc: 4 the love of god pls fix ur spellcheck

flamin-hot: @harlz r we?

kroc: excuse me @chato y r u asking harley no offense @harlz

kroc: we r a fake COUPLE 4 jesus christs sake

JuneMoone: I didn’t realize people said ‘for Jesus Christ’s sake’ - learn something new everyday

harlz: we r Partying and then we r gonna go get food!!!!

RF: Sounds like a plan. Not a very good plan but at least this one won’t lead to me being afraid you’ll get me wrongly arrested.

saucyaussie: TAHNK GOD  
dead-center: all in favor of changing the plan so rick gets arrested text a thumbs up @kroc style

kroc: b

harlz: b

JuneMoone: b (Sorry Rick! I’ll still love you even if you’re wrongly arrested if it’s any consolation!)

T. Yamashiro: b

flamin-hot: b

saucyaussie: d

saucyaussie: GODDANM IT TAHT WAS SAPPUSED TO B A B

saucyaussie: FUKC U KEYBAORD

RF: Uh

flamin-hot: @kroc dont think im gonna 4get the tone ur using w/ me on these messages r FAKE RELATIONSHIP is on the line for jesus’s sake

T. Yamashiro: it’s times like these i legit wonder how we all became a semblance of friends in this fucked up group chat

harlz: @tatsu thats the spirit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kroc: @chato DONT TAKE THAT TONE AGAIN

kroc: U KNOW HOW I FEEL ABT THE TONE

dead-center: u all need jesus

saucyaussie: u can have jesus ill take alhocol 

harlz: thats the first time digger has said sumthing useful! lets applaud this moment

harlz: #clapfordigger

flamin-hot: uh not 2 take away from #diggersmoment but like were all in the cab but like tatsu ur not here??? where r u???????

dead-center: oh shit yeah where r u?

RF: Tatsu I need you on my side here.

RF: You can’t just leave.

T. Yamashiro: i didn’t leave dumbass. i’m at the club already. you guys were taking too long. i got us a tab started. it’s under ‘dysfunctional’.

kroc: TATSU IS THE LITERAL BEST

 

_kroc changed the name of PARTY TIME to tatsu appreciation at 1:50 AM today._

 

flamin-hot: thx boo

harlz: awwwwww girl i love u

JuneMoone: Thanks Tatsu! You’re the best!

dead-center: so like this tab

dead-center: how high does it go

T. Yamashiro: domestic - nothing imported. no bottle service. any of you go over $250 you’re cut off for the night. and rick gets water/shirley temples.

RF: REALLY

saucyaussie: thnks sezy

saucyaussie: fuck that wuz supposed 2 say sexy

saucyaussie: im trying 2 b smooth

saucyaussie: pls go out w/ me

harlz: sweetie just stop ur just making it worse

harlz: but also dont stop bc this is hilarious

dead-center: u realize everytime u send a text or open ur mouth u lower ur appeal intensely rite

dead-center: honestly if u wanted 2 b #boyfriendmaterial 4 tatsu u should just shut up

dead-center: like all the time

dead-center: just shut

dead-center: the fuck

dead-center: up

kroc: damn who flipped u off @floyd

flamin-hot: was it digger

harlz: prob!

RF: Does no one care we are at the bar right now?

JuneMoone: Well, I’m turning my phone off so I don’t drunk text tonight. Rick, my trust is that you won’t let us all die. Have fun tonight honey! <3

RF: June

RF: June wait

RF: JUNE WAIT

RF: YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME WITH THEM WHEN THEY’RE ALL DRUNK

RF: IT’S LIKE A WARZONE

RF: JUNE

RF: JUNE

RF: Oh hell.

harlz: my WORD is good samaritan riCK FLAG CURSING???

harlz: in this FINE ESTABLISHMENT??????

RF: This ‘fine establishment’ of a club is next to three gun stores and a pharmacy where they sell more illegal drugs than band-aids.

kroc: wow sumone has their #claws out

flamin-hot: i think digger just broke his phone

halrz: wait WHAT

kroc: he got his beer and he chugged it but then he sat on the stool nd dropped his phone to the floor and knocked the stool over nd smashed the phone w/ the stool trying 2 get 2 the phone

kroc: it was amazing

flamin-hot: ok im taking everyones phones nd giving them 2 rick so we dont have another digger happen cool?

kroc: b

harlz: thx sweeties!!!!!!!!

dead-center: fine

T. Yamashiro: if i see an attempt on my password i’ll stab you again.

RF: I’m so glad we decided to go clubbing tonight. This won’t end badly at all.


	6. nyan cat

_kroc changed the name of tatsu appreciation to EMERGENCY at 5:31 AM today._

 

flamin-hot: wat happened?

dead-center: its 2 early 4 this shit and im 2 hungover

harlz: i c the lite guyz

harlz: this is it

harlz: the end of my dayz

kroc: uhhhhhh

JuneMoone: ?

RF: Honestly it is a miracle Floyd and Harley are up based on how much they drank at the club

harlz: like i regret that but @ the same time #noregrets u feel

flamin-hot: wat is happening??? 

harlz: i

harlz: i c jesus

harlz: guys i c jesus and i would so hit that

dead-center: id say u need jesus but if anything jesus needs 2 get away from u

harlz: rude af thing 2 say @floyd wen im abt 2 DIE 

harlz: ELVIS IS THAT U

RF: I have so many questions.

harlz: GUYZ ITS MY DEAD DOG ELVIS

kroc: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

flamin-hot: WAT IS HAPPENING??????????

saucyaussie: whaooo mate chilll

saucyaussie: haev adrink

T. Yamashiro: i don’t understand how you get so drunk when i drink just as much as you

kroc: bc we go hard af @tatsu

flamin-hot: WOULD SUMONE JUST TELL ME Y KROC IS HAVING AN EMERGENCY

kroc: oh rite

kroc: the dining hall

kroc: is out

RF: Are you serious right now.

RF: If you say chocolate pudding like you texted me at three am last week I’m going to get so pissed.

kroc: of

kroc: COFFEE

harlz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

harlz: ID RATHER B DEAD

harlz: NOOOOOO

flamin-hot: WHAT

dead-center: HELL NO

JuneMoone: I think I just cried a little bit. I NEED coffee tomorrow - I have a mathematics lecture in the afternoon :0

saucyaussie: nyanyananyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyancat nyanyanyanynyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyancat

T. Yamashiro: if i don’t have any coffee tomorrow i’m going to fuck somebody up more than usual

dead-center: fuck this shit

kroc: I KNOW

kroc: im abt 2 straight cut a bitch 4 sum coffee

RF: Why don’t you guys just drink tea? That has caffeine.

flamin-hot: SACRILEIGE

harlz: TEA IS JUST GRASS WATER AND I REFUSE TO DRINK THAT BULLSHIT ITS COFFEE OR BUST BC IF I DONT HAVE MY COFFEE TMRW TATSU ND I R GONNA KILL SUM PPL

T. Yamashiro: i will murder at least three people

saucyaussie: nyan cat nyan cat do u have a nyan cat nyan caaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttt

kroc: wasnt diggers phone busted like 2 hrs ago

flamin-hot: i took him 2 a 24 hr place 2 get a new 1

kroc: awww ur a good friend

flamin-hot: if u say the word but

kroc: but

kroc: y dont u do that 4 me?????

flamin-hot: maybe bc the last time u busted ur phone is wuz 4 a dare. from urself. u dared urself 2 bust ur own phone.

JuneMoone: I’m really upset right now about the lack of coffee on campus (how is that possible??????) but it’s a lot easier when you realize that Digger is drunk texting all of us his version of ‘Nyan Cat’.

RF: WILL ALL OF YOU JUST GO TO SLEEP?

kroc: COUGH RICK IS A BUZZKILL

harlz: guyz im so sad rite noww where is my coffeeee

harlz: obv not IN ME

harlz: I NEED MY COFFEE

saucyaussie: nyan nyan nyan caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttt i wish i aws nyan caaaat nyan nyan nyan nyan nyannnnn cattt

T. Yamashiro: gtg

dead-center: wait wat

RF: It’s short for ‘got to go’ and WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME ALONE WITH THEM TATSU

flamin-hot: lol

JuneMoone: A little offended at your tone?

kroc: y the tone @rick

kroc: y the tone

flamin-hot: GUYS THIS 1 PLACE DELIVERS COOKIES 24/7 TO THE DORMS THIS IS AMAZING IM ORDERING COOKIES

harlz: OMG ME 2

RF: Go. To. Sleep. Or. Else.

dead-center: or wat

harlz: wat u gonna doooooooooooooooo

harlz: coffee is like the only thing that keeps me from going crazy on ppl so bring it on

kroc: it keeps u from going crazy??

flamin-hot: uhhhhhhhhhhhh

kroc: not 2 b a pain in the ass but i dont think its really good that coffee is ur only filter on wat happens 2 ppl that piss u off

kroc: it seems like u could have more filters

kroc: meaning u punch us less

flamin-hot: agreed

harlz: im feeling rlly attacked rite now nd i just saw my dead dog elvis plus jesus (and i would so tap that) and rite now i just cant deal with ur rude highass bitching abt my coffee habits wen I DONT HAVE ANY COFFEE

saucyaussie: nyannyannyannyannyannyannyannyannyannyannyannyancatttttttttt i am the nayn cat 

RF: Uhh.

flamin-hot: 4 sure my new fave insult is ‘highass bitching’ thx harley

JuneMoone: It’s a quality insult - one of your best

harlz: of course bae ;)

saucyaussie: fear me the nyan cat

kroc: I THOUGHT WE HAD SUMTHING HARLEY

kroc: SUMTHING REAL

harlz: ur all my baes bae

harlz: i love u bae

dead-center: u all need jesus except for harley u need to let jesus run away forever

dead-center: im out i need sum sleep

JuneMoone: I have to go too. Goodbye!

harlz: bye SQUAD!

harlz: well i guess im out 2!

kroc: y?

harlz: theres a fight in the alley next 2 my room and i wanna watch

harlz: peace fam!

flamin-hot: @rick?

RF: Hell no. Bye guys.

kroc: rude af

flamin-hot: guess its just u and me now bro

flamin-hot: even tho we share a room

kroc: we could talk

kroc: like out loud

flamin-hot: b

flamin-hot: bye fam

kroc: wut fam literally im the only 1 left besides u

saucyaussie: nyan nyan nyan catttt i am the nyan cat

kroc: nvm

flamin-hot: bye @digger

kroc: peace

 

_harlz changed the name of EMERGENCY to live tweet of this rly weird fight/ outside of my room bc y the fuck not at 5:58 AM today._

 

flamin-hot: explain??????????????????????

dead-center: fuck u guys 4 waking me back up

RF: JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP

JuneMoone: What are we doing now?

harlz: theres a gunfight slash rap battle outside my dorm imma live tweet this bitch

kroc: thx bae love u

T. Yamashiro: is this the fight on the south side alley or the fight on the south side alley with a pothole

JuneMoone: There are two gunfights happening at the same time??

harlz: south side alley w/ a pothole

harlz: where r u @tatsu????

T. Yamashiro: one sec

dead-center: wtf is happening

kroc: im like scared rite now

kroc: is tatsu gonna kill sumone

flamin-hot: maybe????????

harlz: hoLY SHIT GUYS

kroc: wut?????????

harlz: TATSU IS IN THE FIGHT

RF: Why am I friends with all of you???

harlz: AND SHES KICKING ASS

kroc: OK CHATO AND I R COMING OVER KEEP UR DOOR OPEN OMG

harlz: THIS IS SO BADASS HOLY SHIT

harlz: WTF SHE JUST DID THIS FLIP AND KICKED A GUY IN THE NUTS AND THE TEETH SIMULTANEOUSLY THIS IS AMASIZNG

kroc: OH MY GOD

RF: Jesus you’re all going to get arrested

dead-center: holy fucking shit

JuneMoone: That’s so terrifying that she can do that but also it’s like ‘OH MY GOD TATSU THAT’S SO DAMN AWESOME’

harlz: OK SO LIKE SHE JUST TOOK EVERYONE DOWN? LIKE IT WAS NO SHIT????

harlz: WTF

harlz: THEY WERE RAPPING AND THEN TATSU JUST CAMEIN LIKE ‘I GOT THIS BITCHES’ AND FUCKING SLAAAAAAAAAAYED

saucyaussie: its 2 early 4 htis

kroc: rite on time its digger late 2 the party

harlz: OH MY GOD I STILL I JUST CANT EVEN OH MY GOD

saucyaussie: r the nyan cats reall

flamin-hot: uh

flamin-hot: u were so wasted

saucyaussie: fUCK Y DID I TEXT THAT

saucyaussie: FUCK U GUYS

saucyaussie: liek tatsu thats hot but FUCK U GUYS

harlz: wow digger has no chill

dead-center: this is the same guy who had 4 drinks and then he was trying 2 flirt w/ a cash register

dead-center: r we rlly surprised

RF: You guys should know that 911 is now my #1 on speed dial because of you all.

flamin-hot: wow buzzkill rick keeps crashing the party

RF: CAN YOU NOT

harlz: nope!

JuneMoone: If it’s any consolation they’re doing it with love?

RF: It’s not.


	7. poems

harlz: hey guys will u proofread my poem 4 english class b4 i submit it tonite

dead-center: idk y im saying this but i got u fam

kroc: course boo

flamin-hot: im all over this shit i aced english last year give it 2 me

harlz: ok here we go

harlz: im copy pasting this so it has proper grammar and shit

harlz: you have always been there / you have never left my side / but when I needed you truly / you left me here to die / I kept my hopes you would come back / but now you’ve left me in the dark / all I wanted was for us to be whole / but now you’ve split us apart / how can I win without you by my side? / without your soul and heart alive / I’m all alone / I’m drowning now / I loved you so / but you broke our vow / I held out hope / and kept sorrow at bay / but now you’re gone / and the emotions aren’t going away / if this is goodbye / I wish you well / but I pray someone else / won’t fall under your spell / it’s been a journey / and I wish you luck / but with all my prayers / just know that you fucking suck 

harlz: the slashes r line breaks btw

dead-center: uh

kroc: like its really good but the end kinda just fucked me up

flamin-hot: who hurt u harley

flamin-hot: who did this 2 make u feel this way

T. Yamashiro: give me their name and home address and i’ll fuck them up

RF: TATSU NO

harlz: this isnt abt a person u know

kroc: wait wat

kroc: this isnt an emotional poem abt ur lost love and how ur soul aches without ur true love

kroc: than wat is this abt????

flamin-hot: im so confused rn

dead-center: if this isnt abt a person wut r u referring 2

harlz: my one true love that left me

harlz: bc of them i can never love again

harlz: the name of this great heartbreaker

harlz: is

harlz: espresso

RF: Are you serious right now Harley?

RF: You wrote your English assignment over the lack of coffee in the dining hall?

T. Yamashiro: seems like a solid idea to me

harlz: yeah y not @rick

kroc: wow

flamin-hot: not sure if i should b applauding or b confused

flamin-hot: imma go w/ confused

dead-center: i wish i could b confused but ive hung out w/ u guys 2 much 4 that luxury anymore

RF: ^

kroc: i feel that @harley

flamin-hot: can i suggest u dont curse in it

harlz: no

saucyaussie: wait the dingo hall is out of coffee???

dead-center: did u just say dingo hall

saucyaussie: fuk i meant dining hall

 

_kroc changed the name of live tweet of this rly weird fight/ outside of my room bc y the fuck not to dingo hall at 5:20 AM today._

 

saucyaussie: stop it

kroc: never

harlz: but like my poem 4 english is good??????

dead-center: sure harley

flamin-hot: ok then floyd wat r U submitting bc i know u and harley r in the same class so wat did U come up w/ thats so high above hers

RF: Whoa take it down a notch Chato

kroc: y dont u take ur ass down a notch rick

kroc: y dont u

JuneMoone: I can’t breathe right now this is too hilarious for words.

dead-center: fight @rick @kroc

dead-center: ill send my poem c how u guys like it

JuneMoone: Oh no

kroc: u wanna go @rick

RF: Not particularly

saucyaussie: i got this who wants 2 come c me fight sum assholes 2nite

dead-center: actually ill send the poem later

dead-center: gotta watch the drama happen

harlz: can u top @tatsus fight last nite

flamin-hot: no one can

harlz: tru tho

dead-center: im there

dead-center: its always fun 2 c digger get beat up

harlz: ooh im coming 2!! where r we going

kroc: imma live tweet this bitch

RF: As I don’t feel like getting arrested today (or anytime, really), I won’t be joining you all. I will be watching out for Kroc’s live tweet though.

JuneMoone: I have a study group tonight and an Ancient Civilizations test tomorrow, so I can’t go, but I too will be actively taking part of watching Waylon live tweet the fight!

T. Yamashiro: where. when. who.

saucyaussie: im fighting barry allen 2nite

T. Yamashiro: when. where.

dead-center: again? didnt he give u enough black eyes this yr already

harlz: wasnt he the 1 who shoved diggers face in his own milkshake when we went to big belly burger

kroc: yes and i still have that pic

flamin-hot: wut r u waiting 4 send that 2 me

harlz: me 2

saucyaussie: i thought u deleted that

saucyaussie: but back 2 my fight

dead-center: i need a new lock screen photo send it 2 me 2

T. Yamashiro: i need a contact picture

kroc: whooooaaa im just gonna put it on the chat

flamin-hot: k

harlz: CHATO HOW COULD U

flamin-hot: wut did i do???

harlz: DISGRACE 2 THE SQUAD CHAT BY USING SUCH HORROR

dead-center: wtf r u talking abt

saucyaussie: back 2 my fight

harlz: NEVER SAY THAT SHIT AGAIN

flamin-hot: wut did i say?????//

harlz: THE ULTIMATE INSULT

harlz: U USED ‘K’ IN A WAY 2 NOT THROW SHADE AND TAHT IS UNACCEPTABLE

RF: This is coming from the girl who wrote a poem for English class about how the dining hall’s lack of coffee has broken her heart and made it impossible to love again.

RF: I’m just saying.

kroc: img.digger.milkshake.jpg

T. Yamashiro: send this photo to save a life

saucyaussie: i thought u deleted that!!!!!!

kroc: u can never delete the #truth

kroc: @floyd still waitin 4 ur poem

dead-center: dont test me boi

flamin-hot: oh snap

saucyaussie: guys back 2 my fight

harlz: its goin down

flamin-hot: im yellin timber

harlz: u betta move (u betta move)

harlz: u betta dance (u betta dance)

RF: . . . . .

dead-center: ^

kroc: careful floyd ur bromance is showing

RF: I’m sorry, what now?

dead-center: fuck u

flamin-hot: U WANNA GO

kroc: dont let chato get angry or else shit gets fuckin REAL

harlz: omg wat happens

harlz: DOES HE TURN INTO A LLAMA

JuneMoone:. . .

saucyaussie: BACK 2 MY FIGHT

harlz: oh rite thats happening

harlz: where???????? when????????????

saucyaussie: 1am in the alley next 2 the drugstore

kroc: which drugstore

saucyaussie: the 1 that sells cheese

flamin-hot: 2 of them sell cheese??? so like which 1

saucyaussie: JESUS CRIST

saucyaussie: THE ALLEY NEXT 2 THE DRUGSTORE THATSELLS CHEESE THE GOOD CHEESE

harlz: but theyre both good cheese??????

saucyaussie: FUKING HELL

saucyaussie: JUST MEET ME @ THE QUAD & WE CAN TAKE A CAB

saucyaussie: THSI SHOULDNT B SO COMPLIACTED

dead-center: neither should ur spelling

RF: Oh snap

harlz: omg

kroc: wut

harlz: guess!

dead-center: no way in hell with u am i guessing

harlz: mean :(

harlz: but guyz!

harlz: the SQUAD is meeting on the QUAD

harlz: ITS LIKE A POEM

flamin-hot: speaking of

kroc: wheres ur poem floyd

kroc: or were u just bullshitting us abt u writing a poem

dead-center: fine

dead-center: u want a poem

dead-center: here u fuckin go

flamin-hot: if u send the lyrics 2 nicki minaj’s ‘anaconda’ like digger did 2 me an hour ago i will come over 2 wherever u r & beat ur punk ass

saucyaussie: u wish

flamin-hot: fine

flamin-hot: ill get harley & tatsu 2 do it

saucyaussie: it wuz a joke

saucyaussie: it wuz a joke plz dont

saucyaussie: gota save my energy 4 my fight 2nite & impressing tatsu w/ my moves

kroc: wut moves

kroc: how u impressively fail

halrz: GOT EM

RF: You’ve been suspiciously quiet Harley . . . what have you been doing?

harlz: not doing a drug deal thats 4 sure

JuneMoone: Come again?

harlz: my drug of choice

harlz: coffee

kroc: how much did u pay sumone 4 coffee harl

harlz: 28$ 4 a lb

flamin-hot: u know i support u unconditionally but like damn girl

flamin-hot: i rlly dont think u shouldve done that

kroc: FLOYD WHERES UR POEM

dead-center: waiting 4 u all 2 shut ur asses up

harlz: RUDE but also like understandable

dead-center: here

dead-center: This is a poem about fractured hearts. / This is a poem about wilted flowers. / This is a poem about painted styrofoam. / This is a poem about dull-tipped pencils. / This is a poem about wrinkled clothing. / This is a poem about second-best books. / This is a poem about low-quality images. / This is a poem about half-working earbuds. / This is a poem about peeling paint. / This is a poem about creaky floorboards. / This is a poem about water-stained papers. / This is a poem about shaky actors. / This is a poem about scratched-up sunglasses. / This is a poem about B+ students. / This is a poem about half-developed photographs. / This is a poem about what is needed yet unknown. / This is a poem about loved and unloved things. / This is a poem about heart. / This is a poem about life. / This is a poem about love. /This is a poem about me.

flamin-hot: FUCK thats good

dead-center: u were saying @kroc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? For once she updates on time???? (I know, I'm surprised too tbh). Thanks for all the amazing love I'm getting, sweeties! (Harley's nickname has grown on me, lol). I know everyone absolutely *loves* Tatsu/Digger and I'm sorry there isn't more of it but it's a slowly growing relationship!! Hopefully one you will enjoy seeing unfold. Thanks for reading!!! Comments are the equivalent of Kroc's coming live tweet - straight fire ;)
> 
> <333


	8. #hashtagsannoyfloyd

RF: I honestly can’t believe all of you are going to stay up at 5:30 in the morning just to watch our friend fight someone.

RF: Well, June isn’t going.

RF: I guess there is another sane person.

harlz: RUDE

dead-center: ‘friend’ is debatable

kroc: damn u got 2 it first

harlz: OMGG HALLOWEEN IS SOOOOOOOOON AND IM SO EXCITED

RF: Wow, I couldn’t even tell.

kroc: whoaaaa rick is pullin out the #sass

kroc: who hurt u rick

flamin-hot: y rick

flamin-hot: do u have a problem w/ halloween or sumthing?

RF: It’s a pointless holiday, in all honesty.

JuneMoone: Rick, how could you?!? Halloween is the best holiday!!!

kroc: PREACH IT

flamin-hot: @harl wat r u going as?? im gonna do a day of the dead skull

RF:. . . I’m not going to comment

RF: Someone else say it

RF: Please

dead-center: even im not going there

RF: ARE YOU KIDDING ME FLOYD

RF: Please just SOMEONE ELSE SAY IT

saucyaussie: oy thats a cop out ur just using ur face tattoos as a costume

RF: THANK YOU

kroc: well wat r u going as @digger

kroc: a kangaroo

harlz: OMG so im either gonna b a clown or like a jester or sumthing? idk 4 sure but like its gonna b amaZING

harlz: like its a given im gonna look amazing but like SUPER AMAZING this halloween!!!!!!!!! im going for that sexy but crazy look that will make guys buy me drinks 

flamin-hot: guys already buy u drinks like all the time harl

harlz: yeah but these drinks will be SPICY

kroc: idk what spicy drinks r but im down w/ it

dead-center: so 4 halloween chato and harley r literally going as themselves

T. Yamashiro: bitch what did you just say

JuneMoone: Oh no

JuneMoone: Run away Floyd!

saucyaussie: is this so weird tatsus not mad @ me ive never seen this happen b4

kroc: its a new experience 4 us all tbh

flamin-hot: @floyd im giving u one chance 2 take it back

flamin-hot: just one chance

JuneMoone: FLOYD TAKE IT BACK

JuneMoone: I’ve been on the opposing side of one of Tatsu’s round-house kicks before and they are NOT FUN! Like great learning experience for the kick-boxing class but NOT FUN!!

kroc: dont do it 4 the vine floyd take it back

dead-center: yall r crazy

harlz: @june!! oh yeah i was there and it was cray!!!!!!!

flamin-hot: harley i luv u but like u need 2 stop using the word cray 2 describe everything and i mean EVERYTHING

flamin-hot: u used it 2 describe a pet food coupon last week

harlz: ur gonna b thanking me 4 that sweet deal when u get a cat ;)

flamin-hot: im allergic 2 cats

kroc: so thats y u dont like fluffy

flamin-hot: @kroc u seriously forgot that im allergic???? wut else do u just file under ‘uneeded info abt chato' i wanna know

flamin-hot: IS R FRIENDSHIP ALL A LIE OR SUMTHING????

harlz: wtf kroc y is ur friendship w/ chato all a sham

harlz: y u do dis

RF: You seriously named your cat ‘Fluffy’? @Kroc

kroc: its a solid name y not

RF: It’s - you know, I already have Tatsu threatening to stab me again. I don’t need Kroc to also, I’ve seen you at your wrestling matches.

JuneMoone: Why are you going to stab Rick?? @Tatsu

saucyaussie: y not

harlz: OMG @digger SAME

harlz: i had a cat named fluffy!!!! it wuz the bomb dot com!!!!!! but it died :(((((((((((((

dead-center: hate 2 burst ur bubble but most cats do

kroc: nuh uh nine lives bitch

flamin-hot: u go glenn coco

T. Yamashiro: weren’t you two arguing like forty-five seconds ago

saucyaussie: im confused

dead-center: surprise surprise

saucyaussie: OY I HEARD TAHT

kroc: most ppl do hear wut is texted 2 them . . . its kinda the point tbh

dead-center: do u wanna go digger

dead-center: if u wanna take it there ill take it there

T. Yamashiro: see now this is an interesting conversation

saucyaussie: FINE LETS GO

dead-center: where

harlz: y do u only comment once or twice @tatsu???? we miss u all the time

T. Yamashiro: because i only comment when needed

RF: It’s the Way of Tatsu (TM)

saucyaussie: when

saucyaussie: where

flamin-hot: didnt floyd literally just ask where 2

kroc: shhhh let the dysfunctional duo duke it out itll b hilarious

 

_JuneMoone changed the name of dingo hall to Dysfunctional Duo at 12:00 AM today._

 

flamin-hot: nice one @june

JuneMoone: :)

dead-center: im coming 2 ur fight 2nite, ill c if u need another asskicking then

JuneMoone: You’ll learn soon

JuneMoone: Don’t worry @Squad!

harlz: now heres someone using the proper name - u go girl i luv u @june

harlz: june knows what the hell is up

JuneMoone: I now realize those were badly timed texts - guys don’t fight! 

JuneMoone: They were referencing Tatsu’s texting method

kroc: these convos always get so weird

flamin-hot: thats y we stay on have u learned nothing

kroc: but also imma live tweet floyd and diggers fight 4 those not coming 2nite

RF: That sounds interesting. I’ll read that live-tweet.

dead-center: so glad ull grace us w/ ur presence @rick

dead-center: should we roll out the red carpet 4 u also

RF: I GET IT @FLOYD

T. Yamashiro: i’m not sure you do

saucyaussie: i dont get it everyone applauds tatsu when she figts sumone but when i do it everyone gets mad??????? double standrads

harlz: its bc we all actually like tatsu @digger

flamin-hot: #eloquence

dead-center: @rick we can get the queen on line 1 if u want her 2 greet u @ the door just in case the carpet isnt enough

RF: OH

RF: MY

harlz: tacos?

RF: GOD

RF: @FLOYD SERIOUSLY I GET IT YOU CAN STOP

kroc: but we cant stop

kroc: and we wont stop

flamin-hot: r u quoting miley

kroc: y the fuck not shes the bomb

harlz: miley is #tattoogoals

flamin-hot: @harlz i thought what we had was real

flamin-hot: does no one love me????

JuneMoone: I love you @Chato!

RF: I don’t judge you as much as I judge everyone else.

flamin-hot: i guess june is the only one i can truly #rely on

RF:. . . I literally just messaged about you.

flamin-hot: oh i know

flamin-hot: but it wasnt a declaration of love

kroc: gettin #sassy

dead-center: u need 2 #stop using hashtags every 2 seconds i swear 2 god

JuneMoone: #never

RF: I don’t know how many times I can facepalm without giving myself a serious brain injury.

saucyaussie: test it & tell the results wel’l wait

dead-center: ^

harlz: ^^

T. Yamashiro: ^^^

kroc: ^^^^

JuneMoone: ^^^^^

flamin-hot: ^^^^^^

RF: I hate you all so much right now.

JuneMoone: Don’t hate the players, hate the game! @Rick

kroc: june knows whats up

 

_harlz changed the name of Dysfunctional Duo to #junealwaysknows at 12:23 AM today._

 

saucyaussie: y dont we ever keep my chat names

dead-center: bc they suck

flamin-hot: ^

kroc: heyyyyy so where r we meeting 2 watch digger get rekt?

saucyaussie: HEY

T. Yamashiro: on the quad and we’re taking a cab to see the fight.

harlz: if i c sumone i hate can i punch them when were there

JuneMoone: I really wouldn’t recommend it?

harlz: jk y would i ask!!!!! im gonna do it either way!!!!!!!!

kroc: @ least u let us know ahead of time this time

flamin-hot: yeah it was kinda weird when u just decked that guy @bbb last week w/ no warning

saucyaussie: what r u talking abt?????? idont remember this @ all

dead-center: thats bc u were wasted @digger

harlz: he deserved worse

harlz: trust me

T. Yamashiro: harley’s right and it was amazing

harlz: thx boo @tatsu

saucyaussie: fight time cahnged meet me @ 2 am instead

kroc: is it even possible 4 u 2 get thru a whole sentence w/ no typos

flamin-hot: lol

saucyaussie: u know idont need this shit

kroc: im gonna live tweet like i said but rn im gonna nap so wake me up wen its time 2 go

JuneMoone: Bye guys! <3

flamin-hot: ok im out 4 tonite c u guys @ the fight

dead-center: well if kroc and chato arent here we have no conversation catalysts

dead-center: im out see yall at the fight

harlz: tatsu??? whats been happening w/ u????????

T. Yamashiro: nothing to speak of.

harlz: ok then!

harlz: lets just talk later tonite!!!!!

harlz: bye SQUAD!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY that it's been so long since I have updated! My classes have been pretty intense lately so I haven't been able to do much writing, but I'm back with a new chapter!! Thank you so much to everyone who has been commenting, giving kudos, bookmarking, or just reading it in general!! Hearing how much you like it and getting alerts from you are honestly the best parts of my day :) I love all of you sweeties!!!
> 
> ALSO: This fic has become the inspiration for another fanfiction?!?!? What is this madness!!!! I can't believe this, but here is the link! http://archiveofourown.org/works/8406046  
> Again, I have so much thanks for everyone who enjoys this and an extra special thank you with sprinkles on top to voidtierbec, you are such a sweetie, and thank you for writing this fanfiction! I absolutely adore it!!!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [does a bear shit in the woods? do i love you with the intensity of 100,000 suns? (alt. title YOU CARE ABSOLUT ME)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8406046) by [voidtierbec](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidtierbec/pseuds/voidtierbec)




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